The Next Step

When you've been TTC for awhile, oftentimes it can be discouraging. It's discouraging when you don't get a positive result as quick as you thought you might. It's discouraging when month after month, nothing happens. The longer it goes on, the more easily discouraged you can get.

While you are happy for the friends and family around you who are announcing their pregnancies, having their babies and otherwise making the whole process look ridiculously easy, it's still discouraging.

When I get phone calls or messages from my family asking when they will be getting a niece or nephew, it's discouraging because I have to say "We're still trying."

The danger here is to fall into the thought process that makes TTC a chore, a burden and a heartbreaking activity instead of the intimate union between two people who love each other. It is hard work.

When you get to a certain point, you have to admit to yourself that you may need help to TTC. I came to that point last month and called my doctor to talk about the next step.

That's a really scary thought. Admitting to more than just yourself and your partner that you may need assistance to conceive is a terrifying thought and a brave step to take. As it is, there are a large number of people who cannot conceive naturally and do need some sort of assistance.

So I met with my doctor and talked to her. She gave me some information and reassured me that things will be okay. I went away from that appointment with two notes for blood draws on specific days in my cycle as well as a baggie with a container for Ginger to get tested as well. Last Thursday was the day. I got up early and got to the hospital to drop stuff off and get my blood drawn. Of course now the wait is killing me.

I don't know what it's like in the US, but here in NZ I had to pay for my doctor's appointment, but to get the testing done at the lab, we didn't have to pay anything. I simply showed up with my paper from the doctor and they drew my blood. Oh yeah, what they don't tell you- the woman pulled about 10 vials worth of my blood. She looked at my paper and turned to the wall and just kept pulling vials off the shelf. Laid them all out in front of me and I nervously asked, "How much are you taking today?"

"Oh, only about 30 milliliters." (Only about 2 tablespoons).

Still, having those vials lined up one after another with my blood in them sure looked like more than 2 tablespoons.

So now we wait. If anything shows up, then we'll be able to go from there. But if nothing shows, then it's another six months of trying before my doctor will order an ultrasound and scope out my lady bits. It's a slow process, but I am still young and there's still a high chance of us conceiving on our own within 2 years. So here's to waiting and the next step, whatever that may be.